A place called Hope.

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images (30)“Hope is the last thing you loose.” My mother would say this to me many times growing up, I often ,as many children do, did not listen very closely to the things my mother said, but now that I am out in the world trying to find my way it is the things that she taught me that have sustained and enable me to overcome every challenge I have faced. I remember one time I was in high school and had to quit because we could not afford the 50 dollars monthly that staying in school required. One afternoon I was out on the property where we lived and I was quite emotional, just crying and making a fuss, my mama came and found me and asked me what was the matter? I said “Mami it is not fair, I want to study so bad it is the only thing I want in life and I can’t do it, other people have the chance to study and they wasting it and me that want it so bad just can’t have it.” To which my mom replied “son never be envious of what other people have because you don’t know how they got it, and hope is the last thing you loose. We poor people all we have is hope if you loose that then you don’t have nothing.” Now I would like to tell you I got it and everything was ok, but being the child I was, I just keep fusing till my mom give me a good wipping and sent me to my room.  

My mom really did teach me to never loose hope not just by the things she said  but by the things she did and still does. My mom has quite a sad story she was abused as a child in horrible ways , she was given away by her mother, the stories she tells you just can’t make them up. But my mother is the most hopeful and happy person I have ever meet, If I had gone thru all the things she has, I doubt I would have a laughter left, but my mother laughs often and she laughs hard. And I realize that she is that way because she has never given up hope. She still hopes to buy a piece of land so she can leave for her four children, she still hopes she can help her big son become a doctor, she still hopes she want win the lotery, she still hopes and works to help those around her, after 50 years of trials, set backs, dissapoinments, and troubles she is still the happiest and most caring woman I know because she still hopes. 

Now as is usual around this time of year my scholarship is under review see I am on a partial scholarship which covers half of the cost involve with being in medical school in the capital. This scholarship comes under review in June-July for the scholarship year starting in August of each year. At which time the foundation providing this funding determines whether it will continue partially funding me for another school year.  The desition is based ,from what I am told, on the progress I am making toward getting my medical degree and the foundation’s financial situation. I was asked to turn in grades earlier this month and am waiting to hear from the foundation. I am asked to raise a half of my cost each year and thanks to generous donations from many kindhearted people I have done so for the year 2014, but without the funding from the foundation it would be impossible for me to stay in the medical program seeing as this accounts for roughly half of the money needed to stay in the program. So while I am keeping my hopes up and my fingers crossed, while waiting to hear from them, I would really desire those of you who know a word of prayer to pray for me please that this all works out. God has done it before and I know he can do it again. And those of you that don’t pray well wish me luck please! 

Being a doctor with a message of hope and change in my community is something that I badly want to do, it is what I believe my purpose is in life and is something I will continue to work hard for if given the chance. The medical program is extremely difficult, expensive, and long. Gosh 8 years is almost a decade and as many have said I am crazy to be doing it.Sure I admit it, I am somewhat crazy but I am also hopeful. It is hope that keeps me going because hope is all I’ve got. I wish I could work and be in med school as I did thru high school. I wish there was some student loan program at my disposal, I would be glad to graduate with student debt, it is better than not graduating at all. But because this is Honduras I must depend on kindhearted people to fund my education for such a long time and all I have to offer is hope and my good intentions, that is crazy indeed.

 But let me tell you about my dream job, there is a lady on the island by the name of Peggy Stranges,  I as many on the island call her Miss Peggy. She started a clinic literally in her kitchen just helping people who knew she is a nurse and would come to her for help, today Miss Peggy’s clinic is serving so many of Roatan’s most needy. The work she is doing is amazing and I want to be a part of it. Miss Peggy’s clinic is called clínica esperanza which is translated HOPE clinic. Miss Peggy now has maternity and pediatric services and is looking to expand to a surgical service. This clinic is run basically with volunteers from the U.S mostly. But how awesome it will be to have someone locally trained, locally raised volunteering in, dedicated and committed to the wellbeing of the clinic and the hundreds of people it serves. My dream is to become a doctor, to help those around me, and to help others fulfill their dreams just as you are helping me. Some days I go online and I look up pictures of the clinic and the work they do and  I am inspired, I am sharing some of those pictures in this post. I dream of becoming a part of the staff of hope clinic or and anywhere else I can help. I dream of working in a place called HOPE.

If you would like to help me make it you could take a little time to pray that I will receive funding for another year and you could also go over to https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/1441500 and make a donation of any amount now, remember that all donations via sol are tax deductible just make sure to type natan webster in the dedication line. Whether you donate, or pray, or share my blog with someone, or write me a quick  note, or just wish me luck. I appreciate any action taken and will make sure to update you all as soon as I hear from the foundation. Thanks. 

 

My Hero : Super Mom

ImageImageImageMy story is about a woman, my mother to be exact. My mother to me is the greatest person alive.

One of my very first memories in life is;  walking down a road ,there were a bunch of people walking pass me, and there was this lady holding my hand and pulling me along, this lady was the person that God had entrusted with my care, my mother. This lady was a single mother raising a son alone the best she could. She had to go through teaching me the rights and wrongs of being a man. She did everything she could to make sure I had everything I ever needed. I cannot count the times I saw my mother come home with a terrible headache from work, it would be so bad she would vomit and be up all night, then she would get ready and head right back to work the day after. Or the times she would cook a meal and not have any because there just wasn´t enought. My mother taught me the value of hard work. she taught how to fight every day and never give up. She taught me the joy of serving others. 

The amount of love she has shown me I cannot even begin to fathom. She is everything to me. . I love my mother with all my heart. No matter what, I can come to my mother with anything and I know that she will be there to help me. That is why to me, my mother beats everyone in the world as my hero. I am truly her greatest fan and she is mine. She thinks the world of her big son, and I think the world of her. People say I look alot like her, and am a lot her. I sure hope so, because there is no one I admire more in this world and no one I would rather be like.

My mom raised not only me but two girls who have also become awesome mother´s. Happy mother´s day ma, Rosie and Mimi, and a very happy mother’s day to all the wonderfull mother´s around the world.

Wow It´s not just me!!!

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I must admit I have been feeling the blues lately. It seems like all heaven and hell have come together to take me down this semester. I take one step forward and I´m pushed two step backward. Nothing has been working out the way it should, both in and outside of the classroom and it is very stressful and frustating. Then I found this article online and it really helped me. now I don´t think I need to see a doctor just yet but it sure helps to know that its not just me.

Anonymous asked you: hi, it’s me again. maybe i don’t have depression. maybe i’m just.. deficient in coping with things. i’m not happy with how i’m handling problems- i’m a pro at running away and freaking out later. is a simple thing such as random tears, negative thoughts and inability to handle daily stresses a warning sign big enough for a visit to the doc? i keep thinking and worrying about flunking, about dropping medschool….

Dear anonymous (and to anyone else experiencing a similar situation),

The short answer is yes, you are completely justified in seeking help. I need both hands and both feet to count the number of times I’ve seen doctors and counsellors and psychologists because I wanted to drop out of med school, because I felt like I wasn’t coping, and damn it, everyone around me was doing so well. 

Let’s be honest—med school is hard. I remember sitting in a lecture in second year, watching all the other students around me, and they were in perfect control of med school. They sat through lectures without falling asleep and without panicking about exams in two months and without being afraid of being judged, they took notes studiously and went home to their friends and family and lovers and siblings and maintained healthy relationships and seemingly flawless grades. It felt like I was the only one in a hall of hundreds of students that didn’t know how to make it through med school.

I spent an entire semester avoiding lectures and other students and hiding in the library because I thought I was crazy.

There’s something no one ever tells us about med school, and it’s this: we’re all struggling. I was having coffee with a colleague the other day, and he started to explain to me his struggles with depression, his excessive alcohol intake at the start of med school—and this is someone I’d always looked up to. Someone who, in my opinion, checked all the boxes: intelligent, kind, funny, surrounded by family and friends. And yet, he was someone struggling through med school as well. Very few med students wear their hearts on their sleeves—that’s why I keep this blog somewhat anonymous, because I’m still learning to let myself be vulnerable.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that you’re not alone, and med school has the ability to make us our own worst enemies. But, at the same time, it doesn’t have to be the end of you. You don’t have to try and cope with these thoughts and feelings and fears alone. You, and every other medical student, every other health care student, every other person in general, are entitled to help and to have what’s going on validated. I can’t diagnose you with depression over the internet (or without a qualification of some sort), but whether you meet the criteria or not is irrelevant. You are allowed to seek help. You are allowed to talk to a professional and you are allowed to let them help you.

Please don’t struggle alone. Med school has no right to make you feel this way.

Take care of yourself and I hope you seek some help—talk to your family doctor or to your university health department.

My Life As A Med Student.

 

“A ship in harbor is safe. But that’s now what ships are built for.” William Shedd

Coming up for breath

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To everyone that takes a little time to read my blog I say thank you for your support. I know I was suppose to be writting a blog post once a week but that was before reality hit like a brick and I realized I’ll be lucky If I get to update this blog once a month. But I believe it is important to keep people who support me updated on what I am doing.Keep in mind that I have not sleep for more than 4 hours in the last couple months and have not slept for more than two hours in the last couple days. Not that I’m complaining I feel blessed and highly favored to be going thru this torture. Just saying that my writting on a good day is horrible. So today, well you get my point.

I must say I absolutely love and hate med school. Yea its a complicated feeling and you would kinda have to be in it to understand it.  It is tought my friend! We were told on the first day of this semester that now we are actually going to start studying, that this semester is called morfos because we are going to be learning how to learn and changing into actual medical students. We were told not to be alarmed if we have a hard time because that’s the way it is for everybody. Did I mention I am FREAKING OUT!

But anyway I have worked for two hard years to get to this point, we were told on the first day that we are a special class and for some reason which aparently no one has been able to pinpoint only half of the students that they were expecting made it over from the university this semester, So we would have much smaller class sizes than has been the case which would mean a better education. YEA ME! But I was also told that I would be punished for all the hard work that I have done getting to this point by wearing a  ochre uniform for the next two years. See the above picture for reference.
Now, Marlen who is also on Sol’s medical scholarship program and is over at the Microbiology Faculty gets to wear blue. Oh the inhumanity! So yep I get the wonderfull priviledge of looking like a fairy for the next two years.  So I am rebelling by wearing a chaine and growing a fro. I’m a rebel dude!

As for my classes, I must say they are all kicking my butt. I greatly underestimated the amount of money I would need to get started so I had a rought start. But Mark over at Sol has been really helping me deal with each issue as it comes up. I absolutely detest neuroanatomy and love embriology. Histology is kind of a wash and macroanatomy, well that’s my reason for waking up each morning. It gives meaning to my miserable existance.
One thing that has made it difficult for me is the race thing. I am at a faculty in a city where 99% of the student body is mestizo and 100% of the professors are mestizos so there are some racial issues to be dealt with. I talked to other black doctors who had gone thru the program before and they told me I should expect some problems because of my race but they are surviveable.  Some things have been awful and have made me question my resolve and other things not somuch, but the way I see it, it I’ll just make me a better doctor.
One I keep getting asked questions in every class my classmates say the professors love picking on me. But I attribute it to the law of gravity, I am very much different than everybody else here so if something is different than everything else in a room it draws your attention. Thus I keep getting asked questions in every class like I was the only person there sometimes, but I don’t mind it. It keeps me attentive and I am learning a lot. My neuroanatomy professor tho has asked me to leave his class on repeated ocassions and keeps making comments about my race that concern me. But the way I see it I just have to pass the class and I won’t have to deal with him ever again.

My classmates are awesome, alot of them I already knew from our days over at the university and some are new. I love meeting new people and learning new things, so I am having the time of my life and look forward to continue working hard for the next two years.After which, I can take off that awful ochre uniform and BURN IT, na I probably will sell it to some other unfortunate soul. And put on the glorious white robe that comes with my clinical years.  January 2016 Oh what a day.

Anyway I gotta go to lecture now. But thank you for your support. This is going to be a long and difficult ride and knowing that you have my back is invaluable. And the end result will be awesome. IT BETTER BE!!!!

The first week!!!

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Several things have been made painfully obvious to me in my first week of medical school. First of all, it’s true – med students probably cover just as much in one week as general science students do in a month, the pace is ridiculous. Every day is a struggle to keep my head above water. We, as medical students, are expected to memorize a nauseating amount of information, and then regurgitate it on test day. Falling behind, even for a day, could be fatal. I study after I study and I still feel like I don’t study enough. Currently my schedule is as follows:

Monday-Friday

Classes:  9 to 5 it takes and hour for me to get to and from the faculty

Dinner : 6-7

Study: 7 my brain turns into cheese, usually around 11pm

Overall I study between 60-70 hours per week

 Second, This thing is ridiculously expensive, found out pretty early on in the week that I do not have enough money to cover books and lab material, and uniform cost, which means I have to figure something out by Monday.

Okay, enough about the sad/boring stuff. The faculty is awesome! It’s fun getting to school, reading the lecture topic for the day, thinking that “oh, I’ve studied a little of this before”, and then concluding the lecture with “I don’t remember EVER learning this before.” I have some of the most well-rounded classmates in the country, and we’re constantly pushing each other to learn everything we possibly can about the human body. The professors are awesome (and have a great sense of humor), the facilities are fantastic and the curriculum is solid! :-) I am surprised that my favorite class so far is by far neuroanatomy and histology is a close second. Anywho, here are two of my experiences that have made my week.

Story Number 1:

We had a faculty induction course on Thursday, by this point we had already meet all our professors received all our class plans and already had a bunch of assignments and books to buy. I went into the lecture at 7A.M feeling pretty down. One by the realization that I did not have nearly enough money to cover the cost of the things being required of me, and another by the sheer volume of stuff that was being heaped on us all at once. When I got there I had an immediate change of mood I saw so many people that I had taken different classes with the past 2 plus years at the university and while making small talk with different ones. I realized that we are all in this together, we are all going thru more or less the same thing and that most of us will survive, because that is our nature, we would not have gotten this far if it wasn’t. The course was a reminder to me of why I had chosen this difficult road and how my God will always put in my path the things that I need to get thru it. I came out of that course feeling reinvigorated and ready to go.

Story Number 2:

Friday afternoon I got out of embriology early and went to have lunch with some classmates and again I was feeling a little stressed out becuase of trying to figure out how to get my hands on all the material being required of me. Well I was deep in thought, thinking about coming up with the money to buy my disection kit. When my friend vicki says right out of the blue “You know it is amazing to me, I have known Natan for two plus year, we took our very first class together, and I have never seen him stressed, I mean even on test days the guy is just always relaxed and ready.” I was like which Natan are you talking about? Cause this Natan is freaking out right now.

After finishing lunch, we then went to histology. Like I said, I have surprisingly taken a liking to this class, Although for some reason the professor keeps calling on me, its like my name is the first name she learned so she just keeps going to it, which i don’t mind because it keeps me attentive and I am learning a lot. The subject we were doing today was really complicated and to me was so amazing. I came out of that class thinking about how much I love this career. I love the long classes, I love working with the cadaver and the microscope. I love all the amazing things I am learning about the greatest structure the world has ever known, the human body, and the many tools that help us study and take care of this body.
 
Medical school is hard and very stressful, But I am so glad that God and so may good people have given me this opportunity. I absolutely love it and am very excited about what all this semester will hold and all the things I will learn and hopefully, someday, being able to use that knowledge to help people. Yep its just the first week of faculty classes, it is hard and stressful and I love it.  And I thank you so much again for helping me be here. I would love to hear from you, how about leaving a quick note or sending me an email? or just passing my blog along to a friend so they can read it too.
Thank you for everything you do to help me. May God richly bless you.

Class schedule ready!!!

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I’ll go ahead and say it: last semester was pretty weird.  Frankly, I’m just glad it’s over.  I learned some valuable lessons, but they came with a heavy dose of hard knocks.

One bad semester won’t break me, though.  Today, a new dawn broke over my academic life.  A new semester has arrived, and I’m really excited about my new schedule.  Here’s an outline of the classes I’m taking, and what I hope to get out of them:

  • Macroscopic anatomy – Gross Anatomy or topographical anatomy: This is officially my first real medical class, no more introduction no more pre-med, this is the real deal.  I’m hoping to really understand the human body in general.  I have heard alot about this class the huge amount of material, the awful testing and of course working with corpses. Yep I am pumped and ready to dig in.Hopefully I wont be a fainter.
  • Neuroanatomy:I must say I am not as excited about this one. The human nervous system is very complicated and I suspect this class will be. Gonna have to hunker down and study. Already thinking about the all nighters I will be pulling for this one. Can’t wait!
  •  Embriology: The study of the development of an embryo from the fertilization of the ovum to the fetus stage. Got to get thru it, got to get thru it, that’s all I’m gonna say about that one. Lets just say gynecology and urology are not on my short list for specialties.
  • Microscopic Anatomy – Histology:  The study of the microscopic anatomy of cells and tissues. Looking forward to this one too. I am amazed at what an awesome structure the human body is and microscopic anatomy is an amazing testament and offers and amazing study of that structure and how it functions. As long as I don’t have to draw anything I’ll be happy.

Well, there it is ,four classes , 40 hours a week in class. 5A.M to 7P.M Monday to Friday. And still hoping to get one class in on Saturdays.  Now that I have some real, published goals, it’s time to work, well one more week of fun and then work! 

Thank you all for making this possible for me. Look for more updates on my progress!!!

My new year resolutions

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First of all Happy New Year to the readers of my blog, to every who shared, commented or liked my blog, and to everyone who visited during 2013 a big “THANK YOU”. I got many encouraging messages and appreciate ,so much, those who take the time to write read and share. Also to those who donated to help me continue on this incredible journey to become a doctor with a message of hope and love a big THANK YOU. I really could not do this without you. Hope you´ll continue to follow my journey thru 2014 and beyond.
I am glad to report that I have reached my online  fundraising goal for 2014. To all those who made this possible and for believing in me and my dream, and for your continued support, THANK YOU somuch. I will work hard both through  medical school and after to make sure that you find this a worthy investment.
If you would still like to contribute, or would like to learn more about sol, go on over to their website and check out the awesome work the are doing  on roatan. They have many worthy projects and really are a beacon of hope for many young people here in Honduras.
 
I think we all have to do it, even if we don’t want to.  The resolution list of the new year.  For a lot of us, it’s the same every year – lose weight, save money, etc.
But, of course, everyone can do better, work harder, and put forth a bigger effort.  I know I can.  So this year, as lame as my list of resolutions might seem, I sincerely want to change a few things about my life.

In no particular order…

  1. Become more sociable. I have always been a very shy quiet fellow, very self conscience and prefer to sit alone in a corner with a good book. Weirdly most people that know me seem to disagree !!! I was riding with a couple sisters from my church to a meeting one day and one of them looks at the other and says ” Natan is very quite isn’t he? doesn’t have much to say ha?” the other sister is like ” WHAT NATAN? This guy doesn´t shut up!!!!”   So I guess it kind a depends on who you ask. But yea I want to work on that this year become more “a man of the people.”
  2. Be a better Student.  While I am near the top of my class I am still below that crucial 90% GPA. This semester I will be starting in the faculty of medicine, as they say at the university “Now I´m a medical student.” Want to do much better in my classes than I did last year and much better at the faculty than I did at the university. I want to graduate top of my class.
  3. Be a better boyfriend. Hey she is dating a medical student, how much better can she expect? Anybody got any advice on how to be a good boyfriend while in medical school? Because girls seem to think I´m not doing very good.i´M BLAMING MEDICAL SCHOOL OK! AND I´M STICKING TO THAT STORY!
  4. Loose 70 pounds.  No I’m not a dieter, and I am NOT a workout king, and yes I´m being very specific.  I decided I will not be the 300 pound doctor telling people they need to loose weight.  But I don’t think losing 6 pounds a month from now until the end of the year is all that radical.  So I’m going to drink lots of water, practice portion control, do at least 2 hours, 4 days a week at the gym, so that I can conquer that task. Goal weight 160 by this time next year.
  5. Spend more time in the word.  Studying medicine and having so much to read can be exhausting and find myself alot of times not reading my bible and spending quite as much time with God as I need to. Definitely want to do better this year.
  6. Live A Beautiful life
    Each day I’ll do a golden deed
    By helping those who are in need
    My life on earth is but a span
    And so I’ll do the best I can

    Life’s evening sun is sinking low
    A few more days and I must go
    To meet the deeds that I have done
    Where there will be no setting sun

    The only life that will endure
    Is one that’s kind and good and pure
    And so for God I’ll take my stand
    Each day I’ll lend a helping hand

    While going down life’s weary road
    I’ll try to lift some traveler’s load
    I’ll try to turn the night to day
    Make flowers bloom along the way

    Songwriters
    SKARBEK, SACHA / GARVEY, REA

What are your resolutions?  Email me!  We should all support each other in our goals for 2014.

I have a dream!!!

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Haha there is a lofty tittle!!!

I do not claim to be anything like MLK, his spirit and amazing oratory skill is something I will never have.This is not a post about civil rights or MLK´s legacy , even tho I am a part of that legacy.
From what I´ve read about the march on Washington and MLK´s famous ¨I Have a Dream¨  speech, it was not the exact speech MLK had carefully prepared for the occasion, but as he got near the end of his prepared speech, Mahalia Jackson cried out ¨Tell them about the dream, Martin!¨ 

And today I want to tell you a little bit about my dream or myself from a different perspective. See in my last post I told you a little bit about myself about where I come from, and why I consider everyday I have a gift. About some of the adversities I´ve faced even as a baby, and the principles that guide my journey. How my mother taught me to work hard and dream big. I would like to share with you in this post where I´m headed, and share with you a little bit of my dream. 

A little over a month before I moved over to Tegus, my aunt Mavis, the sweetest little lady you´ll ever meet, fell ill and was interned in the Roatan public hospital, my aunt had struggled with heart problems and had been interned in the hospital several times and would always recover, but this time it was not so. I remember looking into my aunt´s face as she took her last breath and watching as the Dr tried to resuscitate her (I was allowed to do this because I worked there) , and thinking about what I was signing up for. Did I really want to become a doctor?
About three weeks later and less than a month before I was scheduled to start, I came to the hospital for work, and found my sister crying near the entrance, I tried to find out what happened but she could not talk, someone else told my sister (half sister on my father’s side) had a heart attack and had died. I ran into the morgue and saw her body, I could not believe this had happened and was overtaken with grief( she was younger than I am). See I hardly knew her, we grew up in separate homes and I have very little communication with my father´s family. that´s a long story and hard to explain.
Anyway, I touched my sister´s face and she was still warm. Her mother lives in puerto castilla and I and some of my family took her body over to puerto castilla for burial. We rode in a car with her casket for 5 hours. I keep thinking do I really want to be a doctor?

When we got there it was amazing the streets were covered with people, so much people! They kept trying to touch the casket as we passed by and hugging us and stuff, everybody kept coming up and talking to me at her wake because they had not meet me before, They were telling me all these stories about how my sister was so loved, and the many little things she had done for so many in that little town. As I listened I kept thinking, I did not know this person at all and she was my sister!!! All these people had all these stories, she had touched so many lives in the little time she had here. I did not know her! I did not have any stories!  That made it even harder to deal with.

I remember one of my pastors asking me a while back ,¨what is your plan? where do you see your life in five years from now?¨ That question keeps coming back to me a lot as I go along.

I want to touch as many lives as possible folks, I want to be a positive influence in the lives of all I meet. I want to change the World.
When my story is told I do not want it to be a rags to riches story, I do not want it to be about this baby that was born in the worse of circumstances and came up to have a lot. That is not my dream, not that I have anything against that, in fact I admire the people that have those stories.
My mother always told me it is better to give than to receive, and to work that I might have to give to those that need. I was not raised nor came into this world to be a taker, while at this point in my life I am definitely a taker, I look forward and dream of the day when I will become a giver, it is what drives me to keep going.

I dream of the day I will graduate and once again become a productive member of society. I look forward to working with patients , I look forward to the day I can use the skills I am learning, to ease human suffering. I look forward to being able to contribute back into Sol foundation, especially their scholarship program. I dream of the day I will be able to fully assist in Sol´s projects here on the Island. I look forward to the day I will be able to contribute to the Rotary club of Roatan and hopefully become a Rotarian. I dream of the day I will be able to help my mom and sisters. I dream of the day I will become a giver!!!
That is my dream to help people, to help the sick, the needy, the poor, to give time ,skills and money to making my community and the world a better place. I want to help other students and young people not have to go thru the many difficulties I´ve had to.  I look forward to making sure ( my kids if I have any) have a father, a good father, not at all like the one I have.
When my journey is done be it a year from now or 60 years from now, my heavenly father and all those that know me can look on and say WELL DONE. 
I dream of positively changing the world of all those I come into contact with, and starting a ripple effect that will go on for a long time after I am gone. This is a long journey, becoming a doctor is a long and difficult process. But, I believe this is my calling and the best way I can serve both God and man, And I appreciate all the support I am getting from Rotary, Sol Foundation, and all of you.
Can you Imagine the day I get to maybe help some of my donors, that will be a very good day indeed. For me at least! not so much for them, because they will have to be sick for that to happen right?

As I read this I know it sounds very cliche, but friends that really is my dream.

As you know I’ve started a fundraising campaign to help cover cost for next year, there is no way I could do this without your help. I am looking to raise 1500 dollars for next year. Class starts on January 23 so I have about four weeks to do this. I would really appreciate it if you would click on the link below and go over to Sol Foundation and make a donation of any amount, to help me reach my goal, remember all donations are fully tax deductible. Make sure to type Natan Webster in the dedication line. Also consider sending me an email, commenting, following my blog, or sharing this with your friends, help me get the word out and follow my long journey, I need you. I have a dream and I want you to be a part of it.

https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/1441500

 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May God richly bless you and cause his face to shine on you.

Thank you for all your support.

 

“The life of a man consist not in seeing visions and in dreaming dreams, but in active charity and in willing service”- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

The odds are against me!!!

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Having finished this semester( referring to 2014 semester, currently I´m in my second 2015 semester) and now back on the Island for a few weeks, Thank God!!!
I have a little time to relax and unwind, this semester was pretty tough and filled with many unexpected and unplanned events. But certainly one filled with many valuable life lessons.

One thing that I have been thinking about a lot the last few days is something that someone said to me a couple weeks ago. This person looked me in the face and said “You do know that the odds are against you right? The odds of you finishing this program are very low, and frankly I would be very surprise if you do.”
Now before you go all judgmental on this person remember I am not providing much context here, and I believe the person was not trying to be mean or anything, just stating a matter of fact, and get into an interesting conversation.
Also if you just look at me, This person was absolutely right. I am an african latino dude dude, raise by a single mother. I was born and have grown up poor, and I´m the product of the public education system in a Honduras (arguably one of the worse in the civilized world). Yep the odds are definitely against me!!!!
Alas what am I to do?

Well there is a hymn that I love it says ” Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessings see what God has done, count your many blessings name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

See the odds have always been against me. I have defied the odds and continue to defy them with my very existence. My mom did not have me till she was 24 years old, that was not by design. My mom had been trying to get pregnant for a long time, she thought she was unable to bear children and sought the Lord and begged him for me. See I was not even suppose to be here in the first place.
When time came for me to be born my mother was taken to the hospital where she was told I was too big and she would have to get and emergency C section immediately, seeing as there was no way she could have a natural birth. My mother was afraid and decided to run away from the hospital, she took a cab home, where my grandmother found her lying in bed with a 9 and a half pound baby . My grandmother then become my mom´s midwife on the spot, full disclosure my grandmother had some experience with these situations before. Yep, I came into this world with the odds against me. I was born in an old beat down house with no medical help and no preparation, my umbilical cord was cut with an unsterilized pair of scissors, and clamped off with clothespins that had been used to hang the laundry, no pots of boiling water, no doctor, no nothing and still here at 26 healthy as a horse and big as a hipo.

When I was a over a year old my mother had left me in the living room playing with a toy and was in the kitchen preparing a meal, she heard a noise as tho I had fallen which caused her to run into the living room, sure enough I was lying on my back, but my mother was alarmed when she saw me frothing at the mouth. She immediately took me to the emergency room, after the doctors did whatever it is that they did. The referred her to a pediatrician which explained to her that I was way too overweight and would need to go on a special diet immediately, They said too much fat was covering my heart, and if it had taken her 5 minutes longer to get to the hospital that day I would have died. Yep the odds were against me, did I mention I´m 26 years old!!!!

When I was old enough to go to kindergarten my mother enrolled me, to her education was very important.She was not able to get very much herself, and she wanted make sure I got as much as I could. I went to kindergarten one day and never went back, because the teacher sent me home that day with a note to my mom. I have never been a troublemaker and while I do not remember that day very well, I do remember hoping I had not gotten in trouble, because I liked kindergarten very much. The next day my mom took me to kindergarten the teacher explained to her I was too smart for kindergarten and for her to keep me there would be a waste of time, I was then matriculated in first grade. Yep I passed kinder garden in a day. The school year starts in february and finishes in november. On a day right after my birthday in august the teacher, this time my first grade teacher, gave me a second note to take home, this time to my grandmother ( she was taking care of me because my mother had to work).My grandmother took me to class the next day where the teacher explained to her that she was moving me to second grade, because I was way too smart for first grade I was just wasting time. Yep I´m the only guy I know who did three grades in a year. My whole family could not be prouder, and I grew up all my life being told how smart I am. You wouldn’t know that from my english spelling and grammar ha?
But alas the odds have always been against me!!! See I was top of my class all the way thru elementary school, but by the time I got to high school my mom had three children ( me and my two sisters) and there was no way she could afford to keep me in school, and as is the case and tradition in all poor families especially single mother homes, my mom needed me to get a job. She did not want me to help pay the bills as is expected of most boys who are the first borns, she just wanted me to get a job so I could afford to keep going to school. Well she got me a job, I started working during the day and going to school at night. But the odds where still against me, there were times I had to drop out of school because even having a job, I couldn’t afford to keep going. Which resulted in both my sisters graduating high school before me, the genius in the family. By the time I graduated high school I was just glad to get thru it, and had a job in the local public hospital that I loved.
So when the Lord called me into medicine I knew that wasn’t going to happen, one my upbringing, and the odds where against me! ME getting to do something like that was impossible.There was no way I could afford it, there was no way I would leave my job, my family, my church, my girlfriend, move to one of the most dangerous places on earth, there was just no way!!!
When the Lord started opening the doors in the amazing way I have described in a previous post, I and everyone that knows me was just amazed. I am now completely done with first step( seventeen classes at the university), and will be starting at the faculty of medicine next year. Yep with the odds still against me!!

The odds have always been against me folks, from day one, Oh the stories I could tell, I suffered things that an adult should never suffer worse so a child, but I’m still fighting, fighting to survive, fighting to make my mark on this earth, I believe I was born for a purpose and I believe God has keep me here this long, yes even with the odds stacked high against me, to fulfil that purpose. I believe I have been blessed and highly favored.

I worry about the odds sometimes I must admit. I worry that the funding will dry up for this program. I worry that I will not be able to raise enough money to cover the cost for next year. I worry about the high crime rate in the capital and pray I am not a victim before I´m finished. I worry about my heart, it already almost gave out on me once. I worry about my mother, she is getting older and needs me to help her financially rather than her still having to help her 26 year old boy go to a fancy medical program in the capital. I worry about my sisters. I worry about the odds.
But I know that the same God that has brought me so far, and has placed many good people in my life, will lead me till my journey here is done. The best thing that God has given me is my mother she is the strongest woman I know, she taught me to work hard and dream big. She taught me to keep fighting and to never give up no matter how hard it gets. She always tells me I am a blessed person, and I believe her.

Next January I will be starting in the next step of this journey, and I would like to know I have you in my corner, share my blog with someone, make a comment on here, send me a message, anything you can do I greatly appreciate.

As I have mentioned before I am only able to continue on this journey because of the generous support of people like you, I would really appreciate it if you would go over to sol foundation website and make a donation of any amount to help me thru next year and to help me complete this program. I assure you I will honor that donation in loving service, and by making sure I am doing everything I can to pay it forward. Just make sure to type “Natan Webster” in the dedication box. Every penny sent to sol with the dedication line Natan Webster is administered to my scholarship Program, and is a foundational stone in helping me become a doctor with a message and a mission in Honduras.

http://www.solsite.org/

Every donation made via SOL is tax deductible
If you have any question please feel free to contact me.

Thank you for your support
This Hymn has been on my mind a lot lately, thought I would share it with you.

Life is like a mountain railroad, with an engineer that’s brave;
We must make the run successful, from the cradle to the grave;
Watch the curves, the hills, the tunnels; never falter, never fail;
Keep your hand upon the throttle, and your eye upon the rail.

Blessed Savior, Thou wilt guide us,
Till we reach that blissful shore;
Where the angels wait to join us
In Thy praise forevermore.

You will roll up grades of trial; you will cross the bridge of strife;
See that Christ is your Conductor on this lightning train of life;
Always mindful of obstruction, do your duty, never fail;
Keep your hand upon the throttle, and your eye upon the rail.

A view from the capital.

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Well this is one for the history books. a historic amount of Hondurans. more than 3 million, went out and made their voices heard in the 2013 general national elections, and for the first time in at least 32 years of our democracy the national party( conservatives) will retain the presidency for two consecutive terms. How in the world did this happen in a center left country such as ours? As you all know I am a political junkie so let me school ya´ll a little bit.

The short answer 2009. See in 2009 the conservative wing of the liberal party did a very stupid thing. In an effort to save the party from the ¨far left¨ which they believed was sinking the party and the country. The president of congress Roberto Michelleti ( leader of the conservative wing) assisted by the military carried out a coup (yes that´s what it was) that rocked the country and reshaped the political landscape forever. The real conservatives (national or blue party) were smart enought to stay miles away from this ill advised move.

President Zelaya was a direct product of the Huelga bananera of 59 and surprisingly became the leader of the the left wing of the party, for the first part of his presidency he basicly stuck to center left policies and tried not to rock the boat tomuch, it was near the end of his term that he took a hard turn to the left, making a lot of moves that scared the heck out of the ruling class in this country. Micheleti who loose the primary of 08 to Elvin Santos also a product of the far left in the party became alarmed and did what would ruin the party´s chances of winning the 09 elections and the 2013 elections and many elections hereafter , in my opinions.

See he decided the onliest way to save the country from the socialist policies and soon to come dictatorship of zelaya was to remove zelaya from power. He believed that in order to save the constitution he had to unconstitutionaly remove the duly elected president from power and get the military to appoint him president ( way to go democracy).He was supported by the military and the conservative wing of the party. The chaos that ensued stirred up and angered the left wing of the party the felt like they had been betrayed and that Zelaya was only been removed from power because he threatened the powers that be. Zelaya then left the liberal party and he and his wife became leaders of the resistance officially named Libre, this party is mostly formed by people that left the liberal party after the coup. Becuase the constitution barred Zelaya from running for president again his wife ,Xiomara Castro, was unanimously nominated to run under the newly formed party banner.
The liberals in order to save their party and stop the bleading from the left rank nominated Mauricio Villeda, Villeda was also a leader in the left wing of the party and was the son of ex- president ¨pajarito¨ as he was nicknamed by the left who saw him as a hero back in the day. This was not enought Libre already had the ear of the people and the bitterness and resentment of 09 proved to be tomuch for him to overcome.

This lead to what has been a historic election, that featured two new political parties, one lead by a woman, and the other by a tv entertainer. The conservatives despite having ruled to country for the last 4 years, despite bearing the blame for high unenployement, high crime rates, deep corruption, won the election by at least 6 points. Keeping the reins of government for two consecutive terms. It is worth mentioning here that if you add votes won by the Liberal party and Libre, they would have won the election by a landslide.It is clear to see that liberals have paid a high price for 09. AS THEY SHOULD!!!

So is it over?
Not by a long shot both Xiomara and Nasralla have made allegation of fraud. Xiomara has declared herself the duly elected president and has called for her people to head to the streets to demand…… I´m not even sure what it is that she is demanding. But here in the capital where people love to protest that was not a call they would ignore. She has a pretty large following at the university which caused the university to close down for a week after the took over the university and faced off with the police.

The real news tho and the place to watch in the coming weeks is congress. See, Libre took 39 seats, The liberal party took 26 , PAC took 16 and the national party took 49. The national party which has been running the congress for the last 4 years have said that they believe they should have control after winning the majority of seats. The liberals are seeking to make an alliance with Libre to take control away from the conservatives. Libre has said they will absolutely have no alliance with the liberals. And the conservatives are seeking to make an alliance with Pac to maintain control of the legislature. As you can see this is shaping up to be quite a mess and will be a headache for the new president.

Xiomara is making a lot of noise and will probably keep doing so for a while, but my eyes will be on what happens in congress. There has never been this much diversity in there before, have you seen that congresswoman from the 5th sector in S.P.S its hard to believe she was even old enought to run.
We over in Roatan elected a liberal congressman and liberal mayor, so I am hoping that the liberal power will be able to form some alliance to control the chamber, seeing as that will give our congressman more power and influence in the legislature.

Anyway, we are told in the bible to pray for our leaders that we might lead peaceable lives. I for one will be praying and I hope you do too.

Good luck to Jery Hynds as he joins that clown show in congress, and Dorn Ebanks as he takes over the municipality of Coxen Hole.